Finding Home
by The Evilest Regal
Summary: Regina Mills just wants to find a home and have a family who loves her. In her thief, she thinks she may have accomplished that. That is until his dead wife is brought from the past.
1. Chapter 1

Hello darlings. The finale broke me, as I'm sure it did to the rest of you. So I've decided to pour my heart out into my writing.

Well, what's left of my heart anyways.

**Finding Home**

**Two weeks ago**

She rarely slept anymore. Curled up in her warm, very expensive comforter and sheets in her enormous bed, she could hardly ever will herself to fall sleep. And when she did, it was a very light, delicate sleep plagued with vicious nightmares. Her mind couldn't find enough solace in order for her to have a pleasant dream. Although, she couldn't remember a single time in her life when she had dreams that didn't leave her sweating or bolting up in the middle of the night, sobs racking her frame.

During her childhood, she would dream of Cora hurting her with her magic, something that Regina never fully understood. She would dream of never being good enough to satisfy her mother's endless desire for power. That thought would terrify her.

When she was the Queen, just the Queen and not yet given the label of evil, she would lay awake in constant fear that the King would come into her chamber and force himself onto her. Fear that he would strike her when he mistook her for his dead wife and she corrected him, reminding him that she was Regina and not Queen Eva. She finally learned to keep her mouth shut after she could no longer pass the bruises on her arms off as simply being clumsy.

In her years as the Evil Queen, the nightmares still never ceased. Not that she expected them to. She wasn't naïve enough to believe that, just because everyone in the realm feared her, her past would stop haunting her dreams. Leopold was gone, yes, but what had been done to her couldn't be forgotten. The experiences were burned into her mind and she knew that no matter how many years passed, she would never forget.

Even in those twenty-eight years she lived in Storybrooke, the nightmares were relentless. She cast the curse not only to exact revenge on Snow, but also to escape the constant hell she had been living. She wanted a fresh start, a new beginning. But the nightmares followed.

She dreamed of her curse breaking and everything that she had worked so hard to build being wiped away. Or that Snow would win after all of the trouble and pain she had brought. It wasn't right.

Then she adopted Henry and her worries seemed to multiply by ten. Her mind would create tons of horrible scenarios that could possibly happen. She would wake up in the middle of the night and rush to her son's room, only finding peace when she saw he was in fact sleeping in his bed instead of drowning in the sea on the outskirts of the town. The one time she checked in on him at night and he wasn't snuggled safely in her covers, she thought for certain that her heart had broken through her ribcage and out of her chest. When she finally found him in her basement eating her secret stash of cookie dough ice cream that she kept in the extra freezer, it took everything she had not to tie him to his bed to make sure he would stay there. She took many pictures that night of his smiling ice cream covered adorable face after reassuring herself that Henry's birth mother hadn't come to steal him away from her during the night. Her dreams tended to focus around that.

Then her nightmares came true. Emma did come for her son. Henry grew to resent her; hell-bent on proving to everyone that she was the Evil Queen. Granted, she was the Evil Queen but she never planned for her son to find out. She wanted him to look up to her, not fear her. She wanted him to be her second chance. She wanted to try and be the mother to him that was the complete opposite of her mother. She wanted to give him the childhood that she craved since birth but had been deprived of.

Then things had calmed down. Henry finally came to understand that Regina had only ever wanted what was best for him. He understood that she loved him and after he finally stopped resenting her, he grew to love her too.

Aside from a wicked frog here and an evil, old man in a young body who was dead set on stealing her son's heart so he could remain immortal, things were finally looking up. She had her family and relationships were mending between her and the Charmings. They even invited her to Christmas dinner. The nightmares came to a gradual halt. Sure, she still had them on occasion but they weren't nearly as bad as they used to be. She didn't live in constant fear of them.

Then that damn thief came. He swooped in like a knight in…no, she wouldn't dare compare him to that. Point being, he came into her life and she found love in the most unexpected place. He stole her heart and she felt things that she never dreamed she would be able to feel again. But she did. And while one would say she had never been happier, the nightmares came creeping back into her sleep.

That was how she found herself. Knees brought up to her chest, shaking and sweat forming on her creased brow. She huddled against the headboard, wrapping the covers tightly around her. She had lost count of how many nights she had ended up like she found herself that night.

"Love," a groggy voice caused her to raise her head from her bent knees and stare at the man beside her.

"Go back to sleep, dear," she tried. If it would have been Graham instead of her thief beside her, he wouldn't have thought twice about it and gone back to sleep. But not Robin.

"What's the matter?" When she didn't respond, he continued. "Can't sleep?"

She nodded her head. He opened his arms, an invitation for her to snuggle close to him. She smiled gently and slid over into them, enjoying having someone to hold her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Her first instinct was to say no. Telling him her problems wouldn't make them go away. But oh how nice it would be to not carry the weight of the world on her tired shoulders for once. She sighed.

"It's just…I'm scared," she whispered, holding one of his hands under her chin and squeezing it tight. This was always the hard part. "I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and…" she didn't finish. It was too hard to say.

"I'll be gone," he finished for her. It amazed her how he always knew what she was thinking. She felt tears come to the surface and she blinked several times to rid herself of them before slowly nodding.

"I've just been left so many times before and I don't think I could take it if you left me too," she felt a little better when his big arms squeezed her frame in reassurance. She nestled her face into them. "That's why I can't sleep anymore."

"Because you don't want me to leave you?" He asked, confused.

"Because when I close my eyes, the nightmares come. And the nightmares… they're horrible. An endless amount of possible ways that you could break my heart. Ways that you could die like my first love. Ways that someone could take you from me and turn you against me. I'll dream that you'll wake up one day and realize that you can't be with someone who's done as many horrible things as I have. Because I've done many horrible things that I can't make up for. And for the life of me, I can't understand how someone as pure as you would want to be with someone like me."

"Oh, darling," he gently grabbed her shoulders and eased her over on her side so he could look into her eyes. Those big, brown eyes were so full of fear and uncertainty but they were also beautiful. He could get lost in them. "Don't you see that I need you just as much as you need me? I could never leave you. Before I met you, I was lost. After my Marian died, I thought I was done for. Everything was wrong and nothing made sense. Roland was the only thing that held me together. And then I met you."

He brought his hand up to push a few strands of hair back behind her ear. He noticed the way she automatically nuzzled into his hand and it gave him a warm feeling in his heart. One might call it love.

"Sure, we didn't get along at first but I knew there was something between us. And accepting my feelings for you was the best thing I've ever done."

"Me too," she closed her eyes, taking in his scent of the forest. The scent that was starting to feel like home. She lay there with him, enjoying just being in his arms. She was still getting used to showing affection to him in public. For 28 years, aside from Graham and you couldn't count that as love, she hadn't had anyone who would just hold her.

"I love you, my darling, and I promise to stay with you as long as you'll have me."

She grabbed his shoulders and brought her lips up to his, smiling against his mouth.

"And I love you, my thief."

That night, when the Queen closed her eyes and she drifted off to sleep, wrapped safely in the man's strong, sturdy arms, she slept like she hadn't in ages. Peacefully and pleasantly.

She was finally home.

**Present day**

_Robin held her resilient heart in his hands, staring intently at it as if it would sprout wings, deadly anger boiling in his eyes. He squeezed it slightly, just to see her wince in pain, clutching her stomach. How could he be doing this to her?_

_"__Robin, I-," he cut her off before she could finish, his head snapping up and his gaze falling in line with her eyes._

_"__Just don't, Regina," he spit her name out like it was poison. Hard to believe that just a few weeks ago, he was saying that same name lovingly as he held her hand across the table at Granny's on their date. "You are as evil as they all say."_

_"__What have I done to you to deserve this?!" she cried in despair, tears coursing down her face._

_"__Like you don't know!" he hissed, malice and regret seeping into his hateful words. She furrowed her brow in confusion, attempting to make sense of the mess she had somehow found herself in._

_"__You have to believe me, Robin! I have no clue what you're talking about," the betrayal written in tears across her face was explicit. She struggled with keeping her emotions in check. Her mother would have slapped her if she had seen her falling apart because of a man. But she couldn't help herself. She loved him._

_"__Stop pretending to be innocent. You have done more evil in your life than anyone I know. How could I love someone like that? I'm doing everyone a favor."_

_The world started spinning around the brunette. Everything was falling apart and she couldn't figure out how to stop it. The last expression on her stained face was one of confusion and despair, brokenness and heartache. And as she watched her true love crush her heart into dust, she felt a numbness sweep over her like never before. Regina Mills was finished._

Regina sat up abruptly, shaking violently and tears streaming down her face. That wasn't the first time she had experienced that dream but it had been awhile since the last time. She reached over beside her to where she knew Robin would be, an action formed out of habit. Except only this time, when she expected to grasp a firm hand that would rub soothing circles over her back until she fell back asleep, she felt nothing. Empty, cold sheets lay beside her, untouched by anyone.

The events of the previous day came flooding back to her, and numbness, not unlike the one she had experienced in her dream, engulfed her. She brought a hand up to her mouth, attempting to stifle her growing sobs.

He was gone. Robin, her true love who she had grown to love, was gone. His wife was brought back from the dead, courtesy of Emma Swan. And instead of lying next to her, he was with Marian and their son.

He lied to her. He left her. Now she was alone and her worst fear came true.

She had lost her home.

I might continue this, depending on your reviews.

Hope you enjoyed it.

xoxo-Addie


	2. Chapter 2

**Due to popular demand, I decided to give chapter two a shot.**

**I own NOTHING. If I did, Marian would still be in her grave and I would be dancing on it.**

* * *

He didn't know why he was there. Staring up at the white mayoral mansion that practically screamed _**REGINA MILLS, **_a shiver ran down his spine. He missed this woman more than he could describe. He couldn't explain the obvious, powerful attraction he felt toward the sassy brunette from the day he saw her. He guessed it had something to do with that tattoo on his wrist. Something to do with the little matter of him and the same sassy brunette being predestined lovers. Up until a few days ago, he had no idea that he was _destined _to love anyone other than his Marian. But when Regina had related to him the events of that night all those years ago, when he found out that Regina was his true love, he'd be lying if he said he was surprised. They just… couldn't explain it.

He attempted to sort out the thoughts running rampant through his mind as he walked up to the door and knocked loud enough to ensure she heard it. He took a deep breath as he waited for the brunette to answer the door, silently saying a prayer that she wouldn't ignore him. He heard the sound of stilettos clicking on the other side of the door and breathed a sigh of relief, but also began to feel sweaty and nervous. _What the hell was he supposed to say to her?!_

The door opened, revealing Regina and his heart swelled with feelings simply by being in her presence. A small smile curled on his lips but confusion just spread over her face as she waited to see what the man was going to say.

"Please, don't shut the door," he tried to persuade her, not wanting her to shut him out forever. "I don't really know why I came, or what I planned to tell you. But I know that I just couldn't leave things how they were left after you left the diner. After…_" _he couldn't allow himself to finish the sentence. He knew that even mentioning Marian would not end well. "Hell, Regina, I don't know much, but one thing I do know is that I-" he almost said it. He came _so damn close _to ruining everything. He almost said those three little words that would've changed everything between them. Sure, they had expressed their love for one another through longing glances and lingering touches, through late night conversations by the fireplace and passionate kisses. But they had never verbally expressed their feelings. They wanted to take things slow, not jump into anything. Neither could've guessed that they would fall for each other so hard or so fast. A wave of shame washed over him as the thought of his wife and son sitting at home came into his mind. He shouldn't even be tempted to tell this woman that he loved her. He _shouldn't _love her. But he did. And that's what made this situation so damn complicated.

"But I know that we have a lot to figure out," he covered, doing his best to keep a straight face. When she still said nothing, only stared at him with an expression he couldn't quite put a name to, he continued. "I'm sorry. I'm truly deeply sorry for leaving you in the diner. I swear to you I thought she was dead, Regina. And when I saw her again, all these emotions came rushing back to the surface."

She stood in the doorway with her lips slightly parted and that same expression on her face. Her eyes squinted and her brow furrowed but she still remained silent.

"Roland," he began, trying to say something, anything that would evoke some sort of emotion from her. "He misses you. He keeps asking for _his Gina_. He doesn't understand why you don't come over anymore…" Silence. "He sleeps with that little monkey you gave him back in the Enchanted Forest. He's attached to that thing by the hip." Still nothing.

"Regina, please," he sighed, about ready to turn and walk away. "Say _something. _Yell, scream, cry, shout! Just say something."

A few moments passed before Regina furrowed her brow a little more and titled her head to the side as if she were thinking.

"I'm sorry," she began slowly, and it was Robin's turn to be confused. Why was she sorry? "I have no idea what you're talking about…" His heart dropped to his feet. "What is your name?"

"_What?_" he whispered, breaking out in a cold sweat and his face cringing as his world fell apart. "Regina, you know my name."

"I'm sorry, I honestly don't. I don't know you. Or this _Roland _you spoke of" she explained, growing even more confused when she saw that the man before her had tears welling up in his eyes. They stood there for a few more moments, unmoving and silent, trying to fit together the pieces and make sense of what was going on.

"I'm sorry," he was the first one to break to silence, a tear rolling down his cheek. "I shouldn't have bothered you." And with that, he turned on his heel and walked swiftly to his truck, leaving a very confused Regina Mills in her doorway, wondering why she felt the sudden urge to comfort the man with the striking blue eyes.

* * *

"Come on, come on, come on," Robin mumbled, standing outside Snow White and her husband's door, knocking once more for good measure. He heard the door unlock and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Robin?" Snow asked in surprise, opening the door to reveal the seemingly anxious man. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I speak to you, Snow?" He asked, trying to keep his voice low and put on a brave face as he peaked behind the new mother and saw that Henry, Hook, Emma, Charming, and the new baby were all sitting in the living room, watching TV. "It's rather important."

"Yes, of course. Come in," she opened the door wider and when he hesitated, glancing towards the living room unsurely, she gave him a reassuring smile. "We can talk in the kitchen." He gave a curt nod and walked into the home, Snow on his heels, following him into the kitchen. She motioned for him to sit in one of the chairs around the table, which he did, twiddling with his hands anxiously.

"Tea?" She offered, but he gave a small shake of his head.

"I-I'm fine, thank you," he replied. She gave him a sympathetic and curious look before settling down in the chair opposite of him.

"What's wrong, Robin?" She asked, giving him a small smile, and he sighed.

"Everything," he whispered, feelings tears well up in his blue eyes once more. "It's just…Regina. Something's wrong with her."

"My mom?" A new voice resonated behind him, and he turned around to see that the group in the living room had migrated toward the kitchen. Apparently there was no such this as a _private _matter in the Charming household. "I was just over there this morning and nothing was wrong. What happened?" A look of panic washed over Henry's face and it was fairly evident in his rising voice.

"She…" he paused, feeling the urge to cry hit him once again. He took a deep breath. "She doesn't remember," it came out as a choked whisper. "_Anything._"

"Anything? You mean," Henry was beginning to panic even more, "She doesn't remember me?!"

"No, no I think she might. I'm actually not sure," his response was vague, he knew, but it was all he could muster up. He was still processing.

"Why don't you tell us what happened, hm?" Snow asked, trying to be the voice of reason in the sea of confusion that was beginning to form in the small kitchen.

"I went over to her house…"

"Wait," Charming began, brows furrowing in confusion as he held baby Neal in his arms, "You went over to _Regina's_? Why? What about your wife?" The disapproval of his choice was clear in Charming's voice and the thief couldn't blame him. He had lied to his wife about where he was going earlier that day. He told her he was going to the grocery store to pick up a few things. She would be worried sick by now…

"Yes, I..I had to see her," he confessed, and Snow's face took on a look of recognition. She understood where he was coming from. "So I went over to her house and when she opened the door, I just started spouting all the little things I wanted to tell her. I told her I was sorry. I told her about Roland. About how I wasn't sure what I was doing but I knew that I couldn't leave things how they were left at the diner. And do you know what she told me?"

"What?" Snow asked, already having a vague idea in her mind, but she placed a reassuring hand on the man's arm.

"She said she didn't know who I was. Didn't know who Roland was or anything I had been talking about. It was like all memories of me have been washed from her mind," a tear rolled down his cheek, his heart breaking.

"She took a potion to forget you," Henry said as if it were the most obvious answer in the world, walking over to one of the other chairs and plopping down in it.

"Henry," Emma warned, wrapped in Hook's arms, "You don't know that."

"But isn't it obvious? It's what Snow White did when she thought she couldn't be with her true love again. She reasoned that the pain of not being able to be with him was greater than the pain of not loving or remembering him at all."

"So how do I make her remember?" He asked the boy, feeling the familiar tug of hope in his chest again. There was a way. There was _hope._

"Slow down, boys," Snow said cautiously. "Regina obviously was in _a lot _of pain to go to such desperate measures. Are you sure you want to bring her back to all of that?"

"Snow, you know better than anyone that Regina won't be the same now. Are you saying we shouldn't try and get her memories back?" Charming asked, no hint of blame in his voice, only curiosity at his wife's words.

"All I'm saying is that Regina made her decision. Who are we to question her?" The question took everyone back, making them ponder over what she just said and their own motives. "Henry, she remembers you. The potion should only have affected her memories of Robin. And you, Robin, what about your wife?"

He felt the inkling of shame begin to flush his features again.

_What about his wife? His son? His family? _

Was he willing to throw it all away for her?

He knew his answer by the way his stomach flipped with butterflies every time he was near her.

By the way he felt that she knew him better than anyone had ever known him in his life, the way she shared his pain, shared his heartache. She didn't just sympathize. She empathized with him.

He knew that he chose her by the way the thought of losing her forever made him want to dig his grave and die. He _couldn't _lose this precious woman.

"She _has _to remember, Snow," he said, desperation seeping into his words. He would have time to feel guilty later, but right now, he needed to get his woman back. "How do I make her remember?" Snow sighed and opened her mouth to speak but Henry beat her to it.

"True loves kiss!" He piped up, a smile spreading over her face.

"Henry, it's not that simple," Snow began.

"So if I kiss her, she'll remember?" He asked hopefully, looking between Henry and Snow expectantly.

"No, not exactly," it was Charming who spoke up. "Regina lost a part of herself when she took that potion. She's not the same woman she was a few days ago. In her mind, she never opened up to you. She doesn't know you so she can't love you."

"So what do I do?" The look on their faces gave him enough of an answer. "I have to make her fall in love with me again," he said, making it more of a declaration than a question.

"Robin," Snow said, cocking her head to the side a bit and placing her hand on his arm. "You need to be sure Regina is who you want. If you wake her up, if you make her remember you only to go back to your wife…well that will break her. You have to know that this is exactly what you want, no room for questions."

"I can't live without her," he said, sure of his decision. He had never been so sure of anything in his life. "I love her."

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review, let me know what you think. **

**Also, go check** **out my new story, ****Beginning Anew.**

**_xoxo ~ Addie_**


End file.
